Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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