Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
