Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
