So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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