i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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