Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
