Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
