My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I wish I only lived at night.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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