So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
