May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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