season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My vagina is officially offended.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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