Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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