I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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