in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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