I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
