we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
