I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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