There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
