Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
