I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
