I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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