Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize