shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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