Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
