The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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