i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
