All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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