Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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