This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
