if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
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