never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
