he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize