I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
