I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
