His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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