Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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