he thought i was a dude.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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