nut hugger
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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