Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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