Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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