i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
