week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
