I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
