I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
