I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I will be naked everywhere
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
