ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Randomize
