last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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