You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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