She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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