I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
This baby is an asshole
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
