If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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