Ambien. No doubt about it.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
