Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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