if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
accomplished twins. life is a go
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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