Who wears a wallet chain?!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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