porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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