Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
