People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
